That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
