i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
