just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
