Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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