I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
