I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize