Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There's even glitter on my cock...
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