you turned your livingroom into a bong?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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