i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
