awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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