Screwed.edu
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
