i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Boobs speak an international language.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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