This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
