She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
