Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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