I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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