why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
