Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
