I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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