I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize