Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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