We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize