thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
