i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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