Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
