just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
