i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
