1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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