Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
