In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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