Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
even my farts smell like vagina
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
