What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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