Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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