If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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