I look better un-naked...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we're so committed to being not committed
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