Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He shit in the fireplace
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
