I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
