Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
