Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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