Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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