i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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