Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
