We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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