Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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