I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
