You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize