she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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