do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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