You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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