Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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