Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize