i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
