What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
