And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
