I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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