so explain again why im purple
no
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
