at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize