Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
