Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Drake has all the answers
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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