I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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