We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
